News of the Week... Mummy Cut my Toenails!

I spent the week training people here there and every-where this week. Down to the West Country for two days which was great fun. I had to be in a little village outside Weston Super Mare for 9.30 Monday morning, so it was another silly o'clock alarm call to get and drive down. I arrived before the girls who actually live in the village that I was there to train! First to arrive was the brand new Franchisee with her shiny new trailer full of shiny new equipment. We had to unload this into the little village hall which was down a pedestrian walkway (no room to reverse a car) We unhitched the trailer and tried to steer the thing down the alley. Now I don't have any experience in trailers and nor did the franchisee! We pushed it, pulled it almost lifted it up and carried it before we could it get it around the corner. Eventually we got it where we wanted it, just as another member of staff turned up, one who is an experienced caravanner. She wound the jockey wheel to lift up two of the four wheels and hey presto you could turn the thing on a sixpence. It is so true that you learn somthing new everyday! If you need a trailer moving I'm your girl!

Wednesday was my Nursery day and as usual it was a delight. The children have a few minutes telling me any special news they have, and it can vary from telling me where they have been on holiday to who has been round to play at their house. One little girl who has never before taken part in this aspect of the class was eager to speak. She was very excited to tell me that 'Mummy did cut my toenails'!

I had an observer sitting in to watch a child who has behavioural problems within nursery. She is in fact a very delightful child of whom I am very fond but she can be a a little boisterious with the other children. She is very funny though and last week told me I was very bossy! Of course she behaved perfectly in my class, with no problems at all, I felt the nursery staff where a little disapointed as they apologised for her 'good' behaviour to the observer! We did have a very exciting session though as it was 'parachute' week. (The children call it the parrots chute!) No... it does not involve me leaping from a tall building...

It made me consider how on earth can any-one do my kind of job with their face covered. I use facial expression continuously to communicate with my kiddly winks. How silly things have become!

Another story in the news this week is the McCartney divorce. Its all got very nasty and I feel this so called 'leak' was contrived and manipulated. The main person to suffer in this debacle is their little girl, how very sad.
This is very amusing though.

Norwegian Wood

I once had a girl
or, as you know
she's now had me.
She showed me her leg
Isn't it good?
Norwegian Wood.

I know, I know it's my little nasty streak, but Paul was my first love!.. yep I was only 12 but we all had our childhood crushes.

In the Company of Royalty.

Yes... my blogging friends, the honourable Mr and Mrs BJ Blog spent last Sunday evening in the Company of HRH The Duke of Edinburh or 'old Phil' as we like to call him. This happened courtesy of Baby Blog who kindly gave us tickets for the gala night of.... The Horse of the year show!! Ta-Dah!!! I was thrilled, I have always wanted to go to the equine equivilant of the last night of the proms and I can tell you, it lived up to expectations.

From standing up to sing 'The Queen' to laughing at the antics of the pony club games, it was total entertainment. Old Phil seemed to be accampanied by my Aunty Joan right from her hair style and outfit down to the sensible court shoes, she really was a dead ringer. However it turned out to be a VIP from the Farmers Gaurdian, the sponsors of the show, unless Auntie Joan has a double life as a very upmarket escort girl.

We saw a hilarious game called 'Hurry Scurry' Where World famous Show jumpers, Jockeys, and carriage drivers raced time trials in teams. It was amazing to see the Jocks jump the show jumpers over the course, they were fearless or mad... racing hell for leather, driving the rather startled horses over the jumps at breakneck speeds without using the irons. The irons, of course were too long for the jockeys who ride very short.

It was an absolute treat to see the likes of the whittaker family (John, Robert and Ellen)and Tim Stockwell putting their amazing horses over the course.
The hilight of the first half was a display by The Blues and Royals Horse Artillery, they were incredible. It was amusing that they galloped into the arena to 'Lets Get ready to Rumble' especially as our Rob had got us the tickets! (Rob will know the signifigance of that). They were spectacular, the horsemanship of these talented and brave young men (just back from Afganistan) was unrivalled. The horses some of the very best and most handsome in the world.

The funniest sight of the evening was during the interval, we had wandered off into the entertainment and shopping area. There was a carousel with golden Gallopers to ride on, it had been taken over by the very handsome young men of The Blues and Royals complete in their ceromonial riding regalia, they were all riding the roundabout! It was very funny, boy were they a handsome bunch, had to keep reminding myself I could easily be their Mother. (How sad)

Old Phil and Aunty Joan were on fine form, he is a still a very lithe and fit looking man, he took time to speak to every single child who took part in the pony club games and patted and fussed every one of their super little ponies.

I had a wonderful evening as did BJ. Thank you Rob Blog!

Whistle Stop Tour of London

Went to London to visit a Franchisee today, I could of flown to Italy and back in the time it took me to get there!
What is that stretch of M4 bus lane all about? The busiest stretch of motorway into our esteemed Capital City down to two lanes of crawling traffic (one hour to travel 6 miles) while either side of me was empty hard shoulder and empty bus lane, total madness. The M42 around Birmingham allows the hard shoulder to be used during rush hour very successfully, take a lesson in traffic management Mr Livingstone. I then missed a right feeder lane onto the south circular and got caught in a one way system around central London. I saw many iconic landmarks that I did not wish to be seeing, I crossed the river more than once and then managed to scrape down the side of some-ones car in a narrow street, a madman was heading staight at me doing stupid miles an hour. I pulled over to avoid a collision but managed to bang into a parked car instead. Blast!!! Luckily it was the company's car and not mine this time.
Coming home I only went over the river once, at Kew, enjoyed the delights of The Hanger lane Gyratory system, totally in the wrong lane all the way, but I was gun ho by then.
I felt as if I had done one of those whistle stop tours by the time I got home.

I saw; Tate Modern, Battersea bridge, Kew bridge, Olympia, Hammersmith Palace, Earls Court Road, Wimbledon Common (no Wombles, or tennis players) All because the Lady missed the A3.

The Knicker Story!

It has been requested that I relate my mishap on the dance floor with a pair of errant knickers!

We had recently moved house to Coventry and needed to find a new Ballroom and Latin class so we could continue our much loved hobby of dancing. We soon found ourselves a class and settled in well with a great bunch of people. However it was 'Strictly Ballroon' and no Latin!

A new Latin class was announced as starting the following week, so we and a few other couples decided to go along.

It was great fun we new a few of the couples and met quite a few new people as well.
Jive was the first dance to be taught, well we had a head start as we had done a fair bit in our previous class back in Milton Keynes, the music went on and we were off jiving very fast, spinning and turning and having a great time.
As I turned I noticed an item of clothing on the floor, round I went again, it was still their, people started pointing to the pair of black panties being kicked about the floor.

I had an 'OH MY GOD' moment as I realised they were MINE!

I carried on dancing for a minute after telling Barry that I thought they were mine. He said I should ignore them and deny ownership. I could not as I felt sure their was a big arrow pointing at me saying 'her Knicker's every-one!' and every-one would realise they were mine. The music stopped all eyes were on the panties, people were looking puzzled and wondering where they had come from, what could I do but....

Pick them up and say, 'oop's I think these belong to me, I thought it was a bit draughty in here!' I put them in the hand bag and joined in with the absolute hilarity that ensued, every-one fell about laughing, probably relieved that they belonged to some-else. What an ice-breaker, we got to know every one in the class and hence forth from that day forward I was know as Nicholas (Knicker-less) in the dance class.

I would like to add that my modesty was still intact despite the wayward underwear. They were a pair I had been wearing the night before with the same black trousers I was dancing in. When I had taken the trousers off the night before I had inadvertantly left the pants up the leg and with all the spinning and turning of the Jive, danced them right out.

The moral being always check your trousers for odd socks and horror of horrors lost Knickers.

My Boys!

Eldest son is on his travels, he flew to Hong King yesterday and will spend two week on his travels around China. He loves these trips but they do pose some probems at times. In a remote village last year where he went to inspect a factory that makes brooms, he was taken out for a meal by the owners. Trouble was he did not know if he was in a restaurant or a pet shop! He always say's he is a vegetarian when travelling in China to save himself from inadvertantly eating some-thing he would consider a family member in this Country!
This particular factory failed its inspection last year for many reasons, so they have built a new one! Important contracts these!
Although I am unlikely to see him more often than once a month, I always miss him when he is away. How daft is that.

Youngest Son is unlikely to be seen until Christmas, as he is entering the really busy season at the concert venue where he works . I am sure he will be having a great time mixing with celebs and the Hoi Polloi, but he will be exhausted by Christmas as the hours are very unsocial. He has the added work of starting a degree as well, which he is really looking forward to, but knows it will be tough fitting all the demands it brings in with his work schedule. Well done that boy for taking that on! I am the proud Mum!

I am doing a fair bit on travelling myself over the next few weeks as well, down to Somerset for a few days to train a new Franchisee and her staff, and loads of audit visits to do before Christmas as well, not to mention a Baby Show at Olympia and the Manchester road show during half term week. I have been told I have 12 days holiday to take before New Year as well, just where I am going to fit that in I don't know.

TGIF or Thank Goodness its Friday!

I had a fabulous Friday this week! On my return from Italy my friend Christie had emailed me to say she was coming over to Britain from her home in Utah and could we meet. The problem was that by the time I got her email she was already in England and I had no way of contacting her! I emailed her account anyway in the hope that either she was checking mails from here or that one of her kids or her hubby would pick it up in USA. Luckily she contacted me and we arranged to meet.

So Friday started with me first having a 9am appointment at the doctors to get a repeat of my Elixer of youth, commonly known as HRT, boy do I love those little white pills, I am a hormone junkie! Well, I sat and sat for ages in the waiting room at the appointed hour, people came in and left, children played then got bored and cried. Tumbleweed rolled through the waiting area when suddenly a family of horrendously HUGE poeple surrounded me on the seats making me feel like a squashed banana at the bottom of the fruit bowl. The Mother's huge thighs spilled right off her seat and threatened to over flow and smother mine. Her and her teenage children all wore a uniform of grey sweatpants with varying baggy tops. I longingly looked at a seat all on its own and wondered if it would look tooo.. rude to move to it, decided it probably would and stayed squashed.
Eventually 45 minutes after my appointed time I was called in to see the doctor. I told him I had come to tell him how well I was feeling with loads of energy, sleeping well and very best of all no awful life stoppingly embarrassing hot flushes. In other words ' just give me the pills and let me get out of here!' Then came the moment I dreaded 'I'll just check your blood pressure' Simple words but ones that strike terror into my blood stream and send the said BP into overdrive and out through the top of my head and through the roof. Now, I was late for my trip to meet Cristie, I had sat looking at my watch worrying about being late, and spent the last twenty minutes crushed between the big friendly giants! OF COURSE MY BP WAS HIGH! I thought the HRT was going to be off the agenda but he agreed I could have the pills but I have to see the nurse once a week for a month to get re-checked. He has to be joking, I will never get time from work once a week to check my BP that is perfectly normal at any time other than at the surgery! White coat syndrome is alive and well with me.

To try and calm the raging BP I then set off on a 75 mile motorway journey to Thame down the M42 to meet christie, I drove through torrential rain, thunder, lightening and I am sure a swarm of locust popped up at some point aand eventually was safely guided into Chinnor road by my sat nav. The trouble was it was the wrong Chinnor road! Unknown to me there are two in the same postcode district and this one was a Country lane with no civilisation to be seen! I was seriously late by now and wondered whether to phone (she would not be able to give directions) or try again. Brainwave alert! I remebered she said I had to park in nearby Croft Road so I set that into Sadie ( yes my sat nav has a name) Bingo it was only 3 miles away so off we went.

I arrived at the house she was staying at and nervously knocked the door, Three Women and a tiny four year old Chinese girl almost immediatly opened it. We all stood looking at each other for a moment as I was not sure which one was Christie as the only photo I had seen ofher was four years ago and she had curly hair then. All suddenly became clear when she spoke (the accent gave it away) I think she had not realised I would be so short! It transpired that the little girl was the adopted daughter of the friend she had travelled with. She was the cutest little thing apparently abandoned at birth as she had a serious cleft pallette and was a girl! She is now a very confident chatty four year old who helped us all get to know each other.

Christie had decided she wanted to visit the Cotswolds so we set off to the nearest village which is Burford. We got on like a house on fire, It was like we really were old friends which we are, just had not met before. We had written to each other on and off for five years. Sometimes though 3 months would pass and then we would exchange a few letters about our families etc. Then nothing again for another few months but we always keep in touch however sporadic. We spent the whole journey talking and laughing and catching up on our relevant families. She is a real lovely girl with a great sense of humour and fun.

We walked about Burford for a while and visited a flea market which she really liked. Like a lot of Americans she thought we all lived in quaint little villages and rode around on bicycles I think. She was a little disapointed with the amount of traffic in the village and the fact it was difficult to take photo's without cars being present. We decided to have lunch in a quaint little tea-shop suitably ye olde worlde! Christie decided we should have 'The Engish Afternoon Tea'. This was a delightful selection of pretty little sandwiches with the crusts removed and an enormous selection of cream cakes and scones and of course a pot of English Tea. The only problem there was that Christie being off the Mormon religion does not drink tea, so she had 'afternoon milkshake' instead off afternoon tea! By the time we were ready to leave I felt as humungous as the people in the surgery that morning! We left with two cake boxes of left overs to share and strolled, or was it waddled up the village.

Christie still wanted the quintessential English village photo's, so we wandered off the main street to the quieter lanes around the area.
She wanted to find quaint little cottages with window boxes and net curtains to take pictures of. I added that it would be preferable if Miss Marple was just coming out of one with her large wheeled black bicycle with a whicker basket on the front! She agreed this would be ideal, so we went on a search.

Miss Marple was out of town, but we found cute cottages, even one with Honey-Suckle clambering around the front door, it and many others were dutifully recoreded for posterity on Christie's film and my digital in case hers did not come out good.
Then the really impressive English rain began agin in earnest and fell in buckets, we fled under our brolly's back to the car where we had to just sit for ten minutes until it lessened. Christie was very impressed at the amount of rain that fell in a few minutes and concluded that the reason England was so beautiful was because of the rain!

It was great to meet Christie and fun to see a Cotswold village through new eyes as somewhere wonderful an unusual. I wonder just what she would make of Coventry!